A Caucasian man married an African-American woman when she became pregnant with their first child. However, upon the birth of their son, who had a darker complexion than his mother, the father began to question his biological connection to the child. Many social media users criticized him for secretly getting a paternity test without his wife’s knowledge.

In a Reddit post on May 9, 2020, a 29-year-old White man sought advice regarding a delicate situation he found himself in. He shared the details of his marriage to a 30-year-old Black woman and their two young children.

When he wrote his query, his son was five years old and their daughter was three. The man had doubts about his son’s paternity due to the stark contrast in appearance between the boy and his parents.

After hearing concerns from those close to him regarding the child’s parentage, he made the decision to secretly undergo a paternity test, only for it to have unforeseen consequences. Here’s the full story of what led the man to Reddit.

Exploring the Story of a Father’s Decision to Get a Paternity Test for His Son

In his Reddit post, the White man mentioned that he had previously shared his story in the Relationship Advice community, but it was later removed as it was deemed more suitable for the Am I The [expletive] (AITA) section. He mentioned that he had two children, a son and a daughter.

The poster mentioned that his wife, who is Black, became pregnant with their son early on in their one-year relationship, which led them to get married. Fortunately, the couple found great joy in their marriage. Although the man acknowledged their son as his own from birth, he couldn’t help but notice the striking differences between them.

“He has a significantly different skin color compared to my wife.”

The man expressed his frustration about his son’s appearance, as some of his friends and family questioned if he was the boy’s father. The father had some reservations, but ultimately decided to have faith in his wife, and he deeply cared for his son.

However, when the boy turned two, the couple joyfully welcomed their daughter, and the man never questioned her paternity. He observed the striking resemblance between her and himself, noticing their shared blue eyes, and how quickly his family formed a connection with her. He said:

“I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours.”

Once the question of his paternity was no longer a concern, the man discovered a stronger bond with his daughter. Observing her striking resemblance to him, he couldn’t help but question the paternity of his supposed son. The man expressed his belief in treating his children as equals, seeing them as his own offspring.

However, before long, a sense of resentment began to creep in towards his son, as the man expressed his feelings of unfairness in having to care for someone else’s child. I started to develop a sense of resentment towards my wife, feeling as though she had betrayed me. The husband admitted:

“I discreetly got a paternity test.”

After confirming the boy’s paternity, the man experienced a wave of relief. Over the next few months, the dynamics within the family underwent a remarkable transformation. The man’s bond with his wife and son deepened significantly, leaving him with a newfound sense of closeness and connection. They were overjoyed when they began talking about expanding their family with a third child.

He told the truth about the DNA test, though, because he didn’t like having secrets and thought his wife would understand since their son didn’t look like him. His wife reacted with anger and accused him of doubting their daughter, even calling him a racist.

Someone else thought the husband didn’t really think Black people are less valuable than White people…

The father of two adamantly refuted any accusations of racism and expressed his deep love and connection with his daughter, emphasizing that his bond with her was not based on her physical appearance, but rather on the undeniable fact that she was his child. In a heated argument, his wife confronted him, claiming that he had caused their son to feel unloved without justification over the years. However, he strongly disagreed, asserting that he had always treated the boy as if he were his own, despite his own doubts.

After the COVID-19 pandemic quarantine, the poster’s wife expressed her desire to move out with their children. However, even a week and a half later, her husband was still sleeping on the sofa. He had hoped that she would have become less angry, but she was still filled with fury towards him for not trusting her and rejecting their son because of his darker complexion.

Feeling isolated and unsure, the man turned to Reddit for support, seeking validation and questioning his own character. He expressed his concern for the boy and couldn’t comprehend why the paternity issue was causing such turmoil in his marriage because of his wife’s exaggerated response.

Reddit Users’ Reactions to the Man’s Story

According to a Reddit user, the man’s wife had a valid reason to be upset as her husband’s lack of trust and unwillingness to bond with their son hindered their relationship. The social media user inquired about the man’s thoughts on the potential outcomes of having biracial children, as the children’s appearance may not always reflect a mixed heritage.

The person noted how the poster could’ve gotten a child as white as a vampire or as dark as Wesley Snipes. The commenter suggested that the husband should reflect on his actions and apologize to his wife, emphasizing the importance of addressing his misguided beliefs. They also highlighted the significance of the husband’s role in supporting their son, considering the challenges that Black men often face in society.

Another individual empathized with the man’s wife and children, expressing sympathy for the challenging situation of trusting and marrying someone, only to later discover their racist beliefs. The individual expressed discomfort upon learning that the man’s family did not form a connection with the boy due to his darker complexion.

The Reddit user mentioned that if the wife chose to remain with the poster, he would be compelled to go to great lengths to demonstrate his decency. Additionally, he expressed the importance of ensuring that his son remains unaware of the situation.

Comments from other readers

Meanwhile, another individual came to the husband’s defense, suggesting that he may not have harbored any conscious beliefs that Black people were inferior to Whites, given that he chose to marry a Black woman and start a family with her. The commenter mentioned that this is a common occurrence among couples of the same race. The individual thought that the man’s actions were not motivated by race, but rather by the absence of similarity.