Adoption can be a beautiful solution, whether a couple cannot conceive or to provide a loving home for children waiting for one. It’s only natural for adopted children to wonder about their origins and who their biological parents are. However, establishing and maintaining a relationship between an adopted child and their birth parent can be a delicate and complex process.

One woman recently turned to Reddit for advice after her biological son started calling her “Mom.” Below, you’ll find her story and some of the responses she received.

This woman has known her biological son since he became an adult. They’ve built a relationship over the years, but she found herself needing to set some boundaries after he began calling her “Mom.”

Here’s the backstory: When she was a teenager, she had a baby and placed him for adoption through an agency. Part of the adoption agreement was that her son would be able to contact her once he became an adult. Eighteen years later, she received a letter from him, and they arranged to meet. His adoptive mother accompanied him on the trip, and they had a wonderful time getting to know each other. Over the past few years, they’ve stayed in touch, and her son has even developed a brotherly bond with her other children.

But recently, her son started calling her “Mom,” which made her uncomfortable. She admired his adoptive mother and felt it was disrespectful to her, given how supportive she had been of their relationship. Not wanting to hurt his feelings, she carefully explained her discomfort to him about a week ago. Since then, she hasn’t heard from him, and while it’s not unusual for them to go a while without talking, she can’t shake the feeling that he’s upset, leaving her feeling guilty.

It’s worth noting that their relationship began after he turned 18, and he’s about to turn 23. She didn’t reject him—giving him up was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She chose his adoptive parents carefully, ensuring he’d have a life full of opportunities that she couldn’t provide as a teenager. His desire to meet her wasn’t driven by feelings of abandonment but by curiosity about his roots and how much of his personality was influenced by nature versus nurture. As an only child, he was especially excited to meet his brothers.

In a follow-up post, the woman clarified a few points that were raised in the comments. She explained that she didn’t bluntly tell him not to call her “Mom”; instead, they had a conversation where she expressed her discomfort, and he seemed to understand her perspective. She also made it clear that his parents had provided him with a wonderful life, and he harbored no feelings of abandonment.

Then came an update: The two of them talked again, and her son reassured her that he wasn’t upset. He admitted that calling her “Mom” didn’t feel right to him either, and he was actually relieved that she wasn’t overly enthusiastic about it. He explained that he wasn’t ghosting her; he had just been busy with school and preparing to move back into the dorms.

In the end, it was no big deal. The woman expressed her gratitude for all the supportive comments and advice she received, feeling reassured that everything was okay between her and her son. Their story is a reminder that while reconnecting with a biological child can be a rewarding experience, it’s also filled with unexpected challenges that require sensitivity and understanding from both sides.