Research discovered that both men and women have more conflicts with their mothers-in-law than with their own mothers. So, maintaining a good bond with your in-laws can be tougher, but it can also be quite wonderful. A reader went through some disagreements with his mother-in-law after she started wanting more, even though they usually get along really well.

After getting this message from Michael, we wanted to offer him some guidance. We’re also interested in hearing your approach to a similar situation.

«I have a generally positive relationship with my mother-in-law, Jessica, but she can be quite demanding at times, often trying to outshine her daughter in various ways. I have a good job and enjoy treating my wife, Emma, with special gifts occasionally. However, whenever Jessica learns about a nice present I’ve given Emma—be it for her birthday or our anniversary—she becomes uneasy and often calls to complain, asking for something similar for herself.

Initially, I thought her reactions were typical, but it escalated to the point where she began to expect gifts from me regularly. Leading up to her birthday, Jessica sent me a photo of a luxury handbag she wanted, clearly hinting for me to buy it for her. Instead of fulfilling her request, I decided to use my passion for crafting and made her a personalized picture frame filled with photos of her grandchildren. The kids even helped with the decoration, making it bright and cheerful.

On Mother’s Day, my wife and I went to visit Jessica, and I presented her with the handmade gift. She was visibly upset and confronted me about not giving her a gift similar to what I had recently purchased for Emma. I explained that I am married to her daughter and not to her, so I’m not obligated to provide the same gifts to both of them. Unfortunately, this made Jessica cry, which led to my wife scolding me as well. Although Emma doesn’t agree with her mother’s demands, she criticized me for hurting Jessica’s feelings on her special day.

I genuinely need your guidance. I want to preserve my relationship with Jessica, as she is usually a lovely person, even if she can be a bit pushy. What steps should I take in this situation?»