“A married man told his priest, «I almost had an affair with another woman,» in the confessional. «What do you mean, almost?» asked the priest. «Well, we got n*ked and r*bbed together,» the man said. «But then I stopped.» The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You should never see that woman again. Say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box as a penalty.»

After saying his prayers, the man left the chapel and went over to the poor box. He stopped for a second and then got up to leave. The priest, who was watching, ran up to him and told him, «I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!» «Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and you say that rubbing is the same as putting it in!» the man answered.